Sex, Gender, and Love and the LGBTQ-Plus Community—Part I

I am an ally of the LGBTQ-plus community. I am cis or straight. Female. One of two gender choices, right?

 Wrong.

 Sure, my statement matches the medical science I learned in school. However, the assertion that there are only two sexes is no longer a viable medical fact.

 This is the first of two Tuesday Tips I’m writing about the Queer community from the viewpoint of an ally. The next one will feature cross-cultural communities that know there are more than two sexes. The timing is linked to a summit I’ll be participating in during March. It’s also an important mark in my personal and professional journey of research, philosophy, and spirituality.  

I’m especially prompted to enter the discussion considering the current retaliatory backlash against the LGBTQ-plus community in America. Emerging is a very narrow definition of who is a “proper American” or not, and that discriminatory policy is deciding who has rights or not.

 As an energy healer, I feel called to examine issues of sex (the biological classification of a person) and gender (construct based on factors including social and psychological well-being). Healing is about wholeness, and I’m committed to supporting all claims and expression of wholeness and well-being. Personally, I am too told to care if anyone disagrees with me.

Now for Sex and Science

From the get-go, let me say that I am not an expert on sex and gender. I’m merely a willing participant in life. Said simply, we are all asked to respond to three basic questions on this journey of humanity: Who Am I? Why Am I Here? Where Am I Going? I vehemently believe that it’s our birthright to create responses to these queries and it’s unethical to prevent anyone from self-searching and self-clarification based on prejudice.

  I am going to stumble through my exploration, partially because the word “queer” didn’t exist when I was growing up. In fact, the first time I was alerted as to a non-binary approach to the human body was when I was nineteen.

 My parents had divorced the year before leaving me legally and financially on my own. I’d already spent my entire college savings the first year at Concordia College in Moorhead, MN. I took a year off to save money and to waitress at a restaurant managed by Wayne. He was the first person who used the word “gay” with me, and it was to self-define. I was embarrassed I didn’t know what it meant until I met his partner, Fred.

 Oh, I get it! I thought.

 They were the kindest couple I’d ever met.

 I was on my own. I had no savings nor family members willing to help me. Wayne and Fred threw me a housewarming party, making sure I had at least a pot and dish soap. They helped me figure out how to get to the University of Minnesota to take night classes without a car. Then, when I returned to Concordia the following year, they often visited me.

 I didn’t know there was already religious and political movements pushing against these wonderful souls until a relative made a remark.

Seems we’re going at it still, and again.

 Like you, I took biology classes that said there are two sexes. Period. Females have two X chromosomes, and males have a Y and an X chromosome. Well, we were wrong. Genetic research is showing that many factors that determine sex. In fact, some scientists profess there are six or more biological sexes; others insist that these are all extensions of the traditional two. We do know, however, that there are at least six common alternative sex chromosome karyotypes, or arrangements of chromosomes, and possibly up to 24 (“Scientists reject a binary view…”, https://cen.acs.org/biological-chemistry/genomics/Scientists-reject-binary-view-human/102/i33).

 No matter the numbers, biological sex is not binary. Without argument there is at least a third category of sex, which are intersex people, who have male and female reproductive organs. There are also dozens of other substantial differences in chromosomal patterns and dozens of other factors that determine someone’s sexual identity and expression. For instance, a woman can have more testosterone that is considered typical. How might this implicate her in sensing “her”self as female rather than male? (“How Many Sexes…”, https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-025-03191-6).

 To me, the most interesting set of studies takes us back to the womb. Basically, the genitals can express sex differently than can the brain. This is because the genitals differentiate during the first two months and the brain during the second half of pregnancy. Because the body and brain are influenced independently, a person might identify in any number of ways, perhaps leading to knowing the self as transsexual (“Sexual differentiation…” https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21094885/)/).

 Most researchers, who aren’t overly steered by dogmatic religious and political influences, also factor in cultural, social, and personal factors leading to a person defining as binary or non-binary, trans, asexual, or with other terms, adding up to the umbrella of “queer”. In fact, during my own gander from science-to-science article, I was impressed with how many scientists and sociologists believe that there are as many sexes as there are individuals.

Said boldly by a E. Matteo Diaz writing for a student-run Harvard University, non-profit it is dangerous to think in sexual binary terms, when chromosomes and anatomy can blur the line. He shares, “…sex binary is a social construct, not a biological fact,” and in fact, the sex binary model didn’t exist in the Western world until the 18^th century. The danger? Binary is being weaponized to force conformity (“Stop Telling Me There are Only Two Sexes,” https://www.thecrimson.com/column/transcriptions/article/2024/2/22/diaz-stop-only-two-sexes/).

Community is for all, not only some.